Jealous of trees, am I stupid?

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My Birthday is in 22 days and it frightens me. As a child I was looking forward to this day but now I am looking for possible ways to postpone the day.

My parents never failed to organize the perfect Birthday party for me and my brother. We received a lot of presents, mom always prepared our favorite dish and obviously new clothes. As a student I wanted to have one of those surprise parties, where your friends plan everything and u go to a club and simply get wasted. That never happened but my parents were still organizing the big one for me. It was really sweet of them. In the next phase of my life I was fancying about wakening up next to a handsome boyfriend, having breakfast in bed, red roses and a small present ideally from Tiffany&Co. Guess what, this never happened either. This could still happen because you never know when the Mr. Perfect is gonna knock on your door. Instead of fancying about this or being excited about what is going to happen next year, I am scared about getting old.

When I look around and compare myself with other women in my family & friend circle of my age group, I feel like they are having a very boring life. In other words I think something is wrong with me because I stand out from the crowed. Sometimes I even think, I shouldn’t be this active on social media because this is what teenagers and students do. I tried to convince myself saying: “Age is just a number and I am as old as I feel.” Oh well this didn’t work out the way I wanted. The increasing number of grey hair (by the way I have 10 of those shiny bitches now) and hair thinning are clear signs of getting Old.

Today I was enjoying the view from my office window. All the trees crowned in leaves, different shades of yellow and orange. I love autumn, its simply alluring. Since it was a bit windy, a lot of leaves were falling. All of sudden I was JEALOUS of trees. Trees lose their leaves like us losing our hair. But leaves come back in Spring/Summer, but there is no come back for our hair. This is so unfair 😦

Seriously folks, I am jealous of a Tree! Can you believe that? I mean a tree???!!!!. OMG what is happening to me? Am I crazy?

Are you afraid of your birthday? Do you have similar crazy thoughts like me?

Till then Keep Calm and Stay Healthy!

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Fear of Aging

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This weekend I made a shocking discovery – found 3 grey hair strands. Now I am convinced I have more, not yet visible. We often hear statements like “aging gracefully” or “with age comes wisdom”, which should make us happy. To be honest I am scared of getting old. I am horrified about the thought, being categorizes as OLD.

My immediate reaction after noticing grey hair was to check my skin condition. If it’s already saggy at places. Within minutes my browser history was filled with, how to stop aging articles and YouTube videos. I don’t know how you guys are dealing with this situation. For me this has been one of the most depressing weekends.

How come our childhood movie stars are not aging? Even though I don’t understand much Hindi, I love watching Bollywood movies as well as Hollywood movies. Madhuri  Dixit , Kajol and Aishwarya Rai, Jennifer Aniston and  Drew Barrymore,  are my favorites. Once I looked up to them and tried to follow their fashion. Now I feel like their aging clock run out of battery and spared them from aging process. Even though I am much younger than them, I look much older than them now L.

Why is it so difficult for me to accept the fact, that it’s a natural process? What is the reason for my panic attacks?  My mom is in her mid-sixties and she started complaining about saggy skin just few months ago. Until then she was not even aware of it. Oh well, I could say she aged gracefully. She is still gorgeous.

There are so many anti-aging products out there. I know these products are not going to stop the aging process – merely conceal reality!

Did you know an increasing proportion of the  world consists of  elderly people? People live longer  and longer.  Is it so bad if I say I want to live only until 50?