Easier Said Than Done

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I just learnt the hard way that it is difficult to follow a plan. Around last June there were a few weddings i had to attend and until this Feb i was fairly consistent in my diet and workout plan. I could feel the results of my efforts and had energy to work on my blogs,  be socially active and had even planned a vacation. Everything was going perfect.  Spring arrived in march and i knew hay fever season will start soon, for sunny days had arrived.

One day out of the blue, I felt an itching sensation behind my left ear. I went to the pharmacy and they gave a cream. Next day, somewhere around noon I looked into the mirror, because the entire area from the back of my ear to the shoulder was itching. After work I went again to the pharmacy and this time they gave me stronger medication. Next morning I had rashes all around my upper body, and it was spreading. I thought,  I was having a serious skin disease. Fear of infecting others, had driven me to maintain safe distance.

Even though I  was terrified to death, I decided not to call my mom or my best friends mom. In my weird mind it felt like i was going to die. So I only  informed my brother and then went to the hospital. While I was sitting at the waiting room, I got more scared. I didn’t know whom to text or talk to and for the  first time ever I felt lonely. I could have asked my aunt to come with me or my neighbour. I could have phoned my  best friend or my mom. Or instead of just leaving a WhatsApp voice message, I could have called my brother,  but since I was certain I was going to die, I didn’t want  to worry my loved ones unnecessarily in advance.  After one hour of  waiting, the doctor came. He looked at me and started to  laugh.  With tears in my eyes and a frightened voice I asked him: “Why are you laughing at me? I am dying here.”  Only then he realised how scared I was and he said : “oh no dear; you are suffering from hay fever. It’s just an allergy.” He prescribed antihistamine and some other strong medications.

On my way back home, I felt like an  idiot for getting scared. From that day onwards everything went wrong. Due to my allergy I had breathing problems, so I couldn’t even jog for 10 minutes. Most of the time I was too tired and in less than 5 weeks I gained more than 12 kgs. Now my allergy is a bit under control but the gained kgs are still there. Since my lunges are not fully recovered, I shouldn’t do my EMS training. Instead of that, I should go for a walk or do 30 min on my elliptical trainer. I stare at my elliptical trainer every day and all I am thinking is: “Why should I do it? Each time if I am that close to my goal, something happens; and then I have to start again from scratch – it feels like being in a never ending loop.”

Clearly I am/was  struggling to find the motivation. I feel so exhausted  and have zero energy,  the fire in me is blown out,  and obviously I am kinda hiding from my social activities because I feel, I am unfit. I know I have to do something very soon.

Today I went through some of my old blogs and then realised, I am a hypocrite. I was asking my readers to take the responsibility for their actions and motivating them, while at the same time I was not following it.  Finding someone or something to blame is always the easier path.  Yes,  it is true that my weight gain was partially due to the medicine but also I was guilty of having delicious meals.  I guess as soon as I had an excuse to eat more I used the medication as an excuse to justify it. As I was not able to work out due to breathing problems and being weighed down with weariness, I gained weight. Since I felt like a rolling stone,  my unconscious mind made a decision not to meet with other people. I was embarrassed and considering the fact that I was not following what i was preaching. I felt ashamed and could not be bothered to blog so decided not to blog. Now the puzzle is solved.

So I am starting from zero again. Target for this week is  to publish one blog, cut out refined sugar and do 30 min of cardio.

What about you my dear reader, have you faced similar situations like this? How did you bounce back?

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Last wedding of the season

Couple of days ago, I went to Frankfurt to attend last wedding of this season. Since I didn’t know the couple for a long time, I wasn’t sure about attending the wedding. Now looking back, I have to admit that it was the best wedding I recently been to. We often say a simple wedding is all about the couple and family getting married. It was a unique wedding, because the bride and groom have the same first name. Few years back the bride saw his profile on a social media platform and decided to leave a message. She never thought her curiosity will end up in a marriage.

Bride chose to have simple makeup and hair. She looked absolutely ravishing in her gown. I never saw such a calm, absolutely happy, stress free bride in my life. She was very charismatic and charmed the guests with her mesmerizing smile. Her wedding gown was breath taking, innovating and unique; I loved that dress. The Groom looked handsome in his grey wedding suit. They both complimented each other very well.

It was a simple wedding, which was well organized and you could see the detail in planning everywhere. As with modern trends at wedding receptions, they had “seating chart” – a list informing guests where they are to be seated. Instead of having a generic list, this was printed on a world map, located at the entrance to the reception. They only chose map locations – where they visited together as a couple. Photos from these locations, for example Frankfurt where I was seated – were displayed on the tables. This gave us guests something to talk about the couple, very engaging idea!

Next eye catcher was the Menu card. It was printed on a writable candle wrapper. The food was delicious and mouthwatering. But hey, the highlight was the wedding cake which they cut together around midnight. Again it wasn’t some randomly manufactured cake. No it was baked by one of her dear friend and trust me guys it was beautylicious. The moist cake melted in my mouth, sticky with white chocolate and fudge frosting on my tongue. The bitter and simultaneously sweet smell of it puts me in a serene mind state. I smacked my full red lips together. With the rich deep shades of yellow on every delicious layer this cake acts as a slice of happiness on a white dessert plate. I almost had a food gasmen.

Another memorable part was the Bollywood dance presented by friends and family. The theme of this dance was the story of the wedded couple. They selected different hit songs from different movies and created their own mix. The dance was fantastic, they set the floor on fire. At the end everyone was dancing.

How could I end the this blog without mentioning the stunning guest favors. For each guest they prepared a small jar of homemade jam. To be honest it felt like a small jar of happiness and joy.

I had such an incredible time!

Love failure

When friends get married – in some ways it’s a pleasant experience, a chance to catch up, put on your best clothes and have fun. At the same time painful – especially if you are older and unmarried. I would have loved to be in her place… after all, this was my best friend. Moving on to the better bits, she looked gorgeous, the makeup artist did her job well, simple yet elegant gown, as well as in her evening outfit, a traditional saree.

I left my hometown 7 years ago to pursue better career and to be more independent. It is unbelievable how fast time passes. All the youngsters from back then have now grown into handsome guys and gorgeous young ladies. Once they looked up to me with their wide cute little eyes and now I was experiencing immense neck pain because of constant looking up to them while talking.

Apart from friends, aunts and uncles who I grew up with were also present. Weddings are special this way, and a lot of genuine warmth was there. Inevitably, there was curiousness, and I am sure a bit of gossip – why is Maya still single? Out of the blue two guys asked me: “Hey Maya, why are you not married yet? Is it because of a love failure? Is it because nobody wants you? You should have seen their faces. It was like interviewing some Bollywood movie star. The curiosity to find out what’s happening in my life, the eagerness to figure out more about my lifestyle.

It is sad that some people find more happiness in another’s failure than their success. Besides who doesn’t like to gossip. Like a Diva I smiled back to them and answered: “Oh well everything will happen when it is supposed to happen” and moved to the next guest who was eagerly waiting for me.

Why do people call a break up a love failure? In my humble opinion you cannot fail in love. Be in love or to be loved by someone is a great feeling. We all know the famous quote “If you love someone, set them free.” What I am trying to say is, if you love someone then you don’t own that person. In other words If you truly love someone then you are not expecting anything in return because you are loving someone unconditionally. If you don’t expect anything in return how can you fail?

Obliviously if two people love each other then the next step as we known is commit to each other. According to the Wikipedia a committed relationship is an interpersonal relationship based upon a mutually agreed-upon commitment to one another involving exclusivity, love, trust, honesty, openness, or some other agreed-upon behavior. Like any other contract sometimes people don’t follow the rules and regulations and so violation of the contract results in a break up. If the reason for getting together in the first place was unconditional LOVE, then my friend you haven’t failed. On the contrary you have experienced the most wonderful feeling on earth.

Spread your wings and fly – find your love. Getting back in love is the sweetest way to heal. Once you find your love set them free, they will certainly come back to you – if it’s real and true.