Jealous of trees, am I stupid?

My Birthday is in 22 days and it frightens me. As a child I was looking forward to this day but now I am looking for possible ways to postpone the day.

My parents never failed to organize the perfect Birthday party for me and my brother. We received a lot of presents, mom always prepared our favorite dish and obviously new clothes. As a student I wanted to have one of those surprise parties, where your friends plan everything and u go to a club and simply get wasted. That never happened but my parents were still organizing the big one for me. It was really sweet of them. In the next phase of my life I was fancying about wakening up next to a handsome boyfriend, having breakfast in bed, red roses and a small present ideally from Tiffany&Co. Guess what, this never happened either. This could still happen because you never know when the Mr. Perfect is gonna knock on your door. Instead of fancying about this or being excited about what is going to happen next year, I am scared about getting old.

When I look around and compare myself with other women in my family & friend circle of my age group, I feel like they are having a very boring life. In other words I think something is wrong with me because I stand out from the crowed. Sometimes I even think, I shouldn’t be this active on social media because this is what teenagers and students do. I tried to convince myself saying: “Age is just a number and I am as old as I feel.” Oh well this didn’t work out the way I wanted. The increasing number of grey hair (by the way I have 10 of those shiny bitches now) and hair thinning are clear signs of getting Old.

Today I was enjoying the view from my office window. All the trees crowned in leaves, different shades of yellow and orange. I love autumn, its simply alluring. Since it was a bit windy, a lot of leaves were falling. All of sudden I was JEALOUS of trees. Trees lose their leaves like us losing our hair. But leaves come back in Spring/Summer, but there is no come back for our hair. This is so unfair 😦

Seriously folks, I am jealous of a Tree! Can you believe that? I mean a tree???!!!!. OMG what is happening to me? Am I crazy?

Are you afraid of your birthday? Do you have similar crazy thoughts like me?

Till then Keep Calm and Stay Healthy!

Last wedding of the season

Couple of days ago, I went to Frankfurt to attend last wedding of this season. Since I didn’t know the couple for a long time, I wasn’t sure about attending the wedding. Now looking back, I have to admit that it was the best wedding I recently been to. We often say a simple wedding is all about the couple and family getting married. It was a unique wedding, because the bride and groom have the same first name. Few years back the bride saw his profile on a social media platform and decided to leave a message. She never thought her curiosity will end up in a marriage.

Bride chose to have simple makeup and hair. She looked absolutely ravishing in her gown. I never saw such a calm, absolutely happy, stress free bride in my life. She was very charismatic and charmed the guests with her mesmerizing smile. Her wedding gown was breath taking, innovating and unique; I loved that dress. The Groom looked handsome in his grey wedding suit. They both complimented each other very well.

It was a simple wedding, which was well organized and you could see the detail in planning everywhere. As with modern trends at wedding receptions, they had “seating chart” – a list informing guests where they are to be seated. Instead of having a generic list, this was printed on a world map, located at the entrance to the reception. They only chose map locations – where they visited together as a couple. Photos from these locations, for example Frankfurt where I was seated – were displayed on the tables. This gave us guests something to talk about the couple, very engaging idea!

Next eye catcher was the Menu card. It was printed on a writable candle wrapper. The food was delicious and mouthwatering. But hey, the highlight was the wedding cake which they cut together around midnight. Again it wasn’t some randomly manufactured cake. No it was baked by one of her dear friend and trust me guys it was beautylicious. The moist cake melted in my mouth, sticky with white chocolate and fudge frosting on my tongue. The bitter and simultaneously sweet smell of it puts me in a serene mind state. I smacked my full red lips together. With the rich deep shades of yellow on every delicious layer this cake acts as a slice of happiness on a white dessert plate. I almost had a food gasmen.

Another memorable part was the Bollywood dance presented by friends and family. The theme of this dance was the story of the wedded couple. They selected different hit songs from different movies and created their own mix. The dance was fantastic, they set the floor on fire. At the end everyone was dancing.

How could I end the this blog without mentioning the stunning guest favors. For each guest they prepared a small jar of homemade jam. To be honest it felt like a small jar of happiness and joy.

I had such an incredible time!

Double Standards

When a man gives his opinion, he’s a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she’s a bitch. – Bette Davis

We will find double standards in almost every sector of life, but in my humble opinion, the worst most painful one is between men and women. In this blog I want to share 2 incidents which recently happened.

1. Incident

The other day I finished my training late and there was a sudden downpour; felt like the clouds were mad at someone for holding them back for so long. It was inevitable that I hail a cab, quite relieved to be greeted by a friendly smile. Travelling alone, I make it a point not to divulge my exact address, asking to be dropped off at the city center works fine.

“Oh, I know this place… it’s a really nice area” he said. I could just manage a smile, not wanting to engage in conversation after an intense workout. He had to go on though… persisted with regular questions like; “Where are you from? Where are your parents?  Are you living alone?  Etc.  As usual I answered all the questions and felt bad for not actively participating in the conversation. So I asked him the same questions and he told me where  he is from and that his wife and kids were living there and he regularly visits them. My first thought was, a dedicated husband and father, working far away from home to provide for his family. This thought didn’t last long, because out of the blue he asked me:

“Do you want to drink coffee?”(By the way it was 10:30 pm)
Me: “No, Thanks. I am fine.”
You know, I am looking for a girlfriend. It is DIFFICULT because my wife is not here”
Me: “Oh, that’s so sad. Does your wife have a boyfriend in Iraq? I guess it’s also very difficult for her too, am I right?”
“Oh no, she is not supposed to do that. She SHOULD take care of my parents and children.”

2. Incident

A very good friend of mine Joe and his friends organize “guys’ night” every then and now. Basically they rent a business apartment for the weekend and do guy’s stuff. So you might thing what’s wrong in that. Everyone needs a break from everyday life. There’s no  harm in playing poker, video games, getting drunk etc., right? Oh well I agree with you on that. In their case they even go one step further and to spice the evening they pay women to be their “girlfriend”. According to him they treat those ladies with respect  and  they don’t have to do anything which they don’t like.  In a way there is no difference between him, his friends and the taxi driver.  Few of you might ask me: “Common girl, what’s wrong in that? ”. Yes, I tried to convince myself that this is the new reality. I thought if it’s ok with their wives, why should I bother about it. But the fact is none of their wives know about it and most depressing part is that one of his friend’s wife just gave birth to their first child. While she was in pain and struggling with the changes, he was out there having a great time with some random woman.

Few days later during our usual conversation Joe told that the one of his friends saw the wife of another friend in a club dancing with some other guys. This friend now thinks that she is cheating. I had to stop Joe right there and told him that I don’t want to hear about it and asked him: “It is ok if you guys go out  with other women and have “FUN”,  but as soon as women  do the same it’s a crime?”

Apart from the fact  being sexually active with someone else rather than your partner, while you are in a committed relationship, is strictly against my ethics, let’s focus here on the double standards. Why is it ok for men to screw (sorry for my bad language) someone else’s wife, mom, sister or daughter but the women in their house shouldn’t.

My intention is not generalize men and pointing fingers at them. I have only one question: “Why do (not all of you) you do things which you will never allow or wish to happen to your wife/sister/mom?”

 „What goes around, comes certainly back around”

Love failure

When friends get married – in some ways it’s a pleasant experience, a chance to catch up, put on your best clothes and have fun. At the same time painful – especially if you are older and unmarried. I would have loved to be in her place… after all, this was my best friend. Moving on to the better bits, she looked gorgeous, the makeup artist did her job well, simple yet elegant gown, as well as in her evening outfit, a traditional saree.

I left my hometown 7 years ago to pursue better career and to be more independent. It is unbelievable how fast time passes. All the youngsters from back then have now grown into handsome guys and gorgeous young ladies. Once they looked up to me with their wide cute little eyes and now I was experiencing immense neck pain because of constant looking up to them while talking.

Apart from friends, aunts and uncles who I grew up with were also present. Weddings are special this way, and a lot of genuine warmth was there. Inevitably, there was curiousness, and I am sure a bit of gossip – why is Maya still single? Out of the blue two guys asked me: “Hey Maya, why are you not married yet? Is it because of a love failure? Is it because nobody wants you? You should have seen their faces. It was like interviewing some Bollywood movie star. The curiosity to find out what’s happening in my life, the eagerness to figure out more about my lifestyle.

It is sad that some people find more happiness in another’s failure than their success. Besides who doesn’t like to gossip. Like a Diva I smiled back to them and answered: “Oh well everything will happen when it is supposed to happen” and moved to the next guest who was eagerly waiting for me.

Why do people call a break up a love failure? In my humble opinion you cannot fail in love. Be in love or to be loved by someone is a great feeling. We all know the famous quote “If you love someone, set them free.” What I am trying to say is, if you love someone then you don’t own that person. In other words If you truly love someone then you are not expecting anything in return because you are loving someone unconditionally. If you don’t expect anything in return how can you fail?

Obliviously if two people love each other then the next step as we known is commit to each other. According to the Wikipedia a committed relationship is an interpersonal relationship based upon a mutually agreed-upon commitment to one another involving exclusivity, love, trust, honesty, openness, or some other agreed-upon behavior. Like any other contract sometimes people don’t follow the rules and regulations and so violation of the contract results in a break up. If the reason for getting together in the first place was unconditional LOVE, then my friend you haven’t failed. On the contrary you have experienced the most wonderful feeling on earth.

Spread your wings and fly – find your love. Getting back in love is the sweetest way to heal. Once you find your love set them free, they will certainly come back to you – if it’s real and true.